Top Tips from an Early Years Psychologist
Parenting is one of the most demanding jobs on earth.
Here are some top parenting tips, with a nod to the psychological theories that underpin them:
1. Promote Secure Attachment
Turn everyday moments into meaningful exchanges by practicing "serve and return" interactions with your child. These simple, responsive interactions help your child feel understood and loved, building a strong and secure attachment.
When your baby makes a sound or gesture, respond with a smile, a word, or a similar action.
If your toddler points at something, acknowledge it with enthusiasm and describe what they see.
Theory: Attachment Theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth)
2. Encourage Autonomy
Support your child’s sense of autonomy by providing choices and encouraging independence within appropriate limits. Offering choices helps your child feel empowered and confident in making decisions, promoting their autonomy in a loving and supportive way.
Let them choose between two outfits to wear.
Ask if they’d prefer an apple or a banana for a snack.
Theory: Self-Determination Theory (Edward Deci and Richard Ryan)
3. Use Positive Reinforcement
Celebrate your little one’s small wins with specific and enthusiastic praise encourages positive behaviour, rather than focusing on punishment, and builds your child’s self-esteem.
When your baby tries to stand, say, "Wow, you're standing up! You're so strong!"
If your toddler puts away their toys, cheer, "Great job putting your toys away! You’re such a big helper!"
Theory: Operant Conditioning (B.F. Skinner)
4. Model Appropriate Behaviour
Demonstrate the behavior you want your toddler to learn by modeling it yourself. Children learn by watching you, so modeling appropriate behavior helps them understand and adopt these positive actions naturally.
Show kindness by saying "please" and "thank you" in everyday interactions.
Demonstrate sharing by offering them a toy and saying, "Let's share this together!.
Theory: Social Learning Theory (Albert Bandura)
5. Maintain Consistency
Tip: Consistent rules and consequences help children understand expectations and develop a sense of stability and predictability. Establish and maintain consistent routines to help your child feel secure and understand expectations.
Stick to regular bedtimes and meal times.
Follow similar daily rituals for activities like playtime and bath time.
Theory: Behavioral Psychology
6. Foster Emotional Intelligence
Help your child to recognise, understand, and manage their emotions. By nurturing their emotional vocabulary and offering support for their feelings, you empower your child to understand and manage their emotions effectively and develop empathy.
Read books and play with dolls to explore emotions and discuss how characters might be feeling.
Use words like "happy," "sad," "frustrated," and "excited" to describe how your child might be feeling, and acknowledge their emotions by saying, "I see that you're feeling upset. It's okay to feel that way."
Offer ways to manage emotions, such as taking deep breaths or talking about their feelings.
Theory: Emotional Intelligence Theory (Daniel Goleman)
7. Encourage a Growth Mindset
Foster a growth mindset by focusing on effort and perseverance rather than just innate abilities. By emphasizing the process of learning and growth, you help your child develop resilience, persistence, and a belief in their own ability to improve over time.
Instead of saying "You're so smart," say "You worked hard to figure that out!"
Embrace Challenges: Encourage your child to try new things and praise them for their willingness to learn, even if they struggle at first.
Use Positive Self-Talk: Model optimism and resilience by using phrases like, "I can try again" or "Mistakes help me learn."
Theory: Mindset Theory (Carol Dweck)
8. Build a Nurturing Environment
Tip: Create a supportive and nurturing environment that considers your child’s developmental needs across different contexts, including family, school, and community. By nurturing your child in these interconnected layers, you create a rich and supportive environment that enhances their emotional, social, and cognitive development from an early age.
Engage actively with your child at home, through daily routines, play, and affectionate interactions.
Foster positive connections between different caregivers and environments your child interacts with, such as home and nursery.
Embrace community resources and networks that align to cultural values and beliefs that prioritise your child's growth and development.
Theory: Ecological Systems Theory (Urie Bronfenbrenner)
9. Communicate Effectively
Foster effective communication through active listening and interaction. Promoting clear, positive, and respectful communication, you help your child develop confidence in expressing themselves and navigating social interactions effectively.
Use simple and direct language that your child can understand. Avoid ambiguous or confusing messages.
Acknowledge and praise your child when they communicate effectively or express themselves clearly.
Be aware of your own communication style and how it influences your child's responses. Aim for interactions that are respectful and nurturing. Use “I” statements and active listening to validate your child’s feelings and encourage open dialogue.
Theory: Transactional Analysis (Eric Berne)
10. Practice Self-Care
Tip: Take care of your own mental and physical health. When you prioritize self-care, you replenish your energy and resilience, enabling you to be more present and patient with your child.
It’s not unusual to be swept up in the chaos of parenting. Remember that you have needs to. Try to remember to pause, and if you are able to, allocate regular periods for activities that recharge you, whether it's reading, exercising, or simply relaxing.
Wherever possible and needed, please don't hesitate to ask for help from friends, family, or professionals. It really does take a village to raise a child.
Theory: Parental Stress Model (Jay Belsky)
We hope these tips have given some general ideas that can help create a supportive and nurturing environment that promotes your child's overall development and well-being, as well as their theoretical foundations. In practice, we know these are easier said than done, for a number of reasons. If you feel you would benefit from more personalised support, please click here to book an initial consultation.
